Unexpected Returns of Gratitude Journal
I did not know that starting a gratitude journal in 2017 would impact my life on Christmas in 2021. I also did not consider the benefits of consistently journaling. I can count on one hand how many times since 2017 that I have missed the opportunity to answer this question: “What are three things I am grateful for?”
If you consider Charlie Munger’s comment, “The first rule of compounding: Never interrupt it unnecessarily,” it makes sense that I would reap the rewards in 2021.
Like many families, we were looking forward to the holidays and traveling to see family, which we could not do in 2020. My spouse took the week off after Christmas, which she never does, so that we could spend extra time together with her family.
As we read about the increasing positive cases of Covid around the country, we doubled down on our approach to stay healthy. The extended family we planned to visit included 3 children under 18 months of age and a pregnant sister-in-law. It was going to be the first Christmas with all of these cousins getting together…and then it happened.
My 13 year old contracted Covid at her school and tested positive on Sunday, Dec 19. This meant no more traveling for Christmas, but fingers crossed, we could isolate her and make travel plans for New Year’s Eve to see the same family members. Our focus was to keep everyone in the house healthy and make it through the 10 days of isolation. Like the original plans, these plans were foiled when I tested positive 4 days later, on the 23rd. Ugh.
While frustrated and disappointed about the impact on travel plans, I was grateful that my other two children and spouse were still negative that day. At this point, it was about keeping my spouse healthy, so Christmas would not be impacted. My oldest daughter and I both isolated and hoped for the best since we could not offer much help. I was also grateful that both of us were experiencing very mild symptoms. There was some congestion, a scratchy throat, and a dry cough, but that was it. We were lucky.
I used the time during those first few days to read, write, catch up on podcasts, and find ways to grow during my time of isolation. I followed another Munger suggestion during this time, “Spend each day trying to be a little wiser than you were when you wake up.” I was grateful for the time that was given to me.
My spouse was ready to take care of everything on Christmas Eve when our middle child complained of stomach pain and started to show signs of a fever. His recent Covid tests had been negative, and his symptoms did not align with mine or my daughters. My spouse works in the medical field and had a suspicion it might be his appendix. During a call on FaceTime (I was still in isolation), we decided she should take him to the ER at 9 pm that night. Sure enough, the ultrasound showed a case of appendicitis. They would be spending the night in the hospital with plans for surgery on Christmas morning. To recap: we had a 13-year-old in isolation at home, our 10-year-old at the hospital with his mother, and a 7-year-old with no health issues asleep in her room with dreams of Santa coming in the morning. I was of little help as I was still positive and in isolation.
Plans had changed once again! There would be no Christmas morning with presents under the tree and stockings stuffed by the fire. We had dear friends drop off breakfast at 6:30 am that I could grab at the front door and leave out for my daughter to eat when she woke up. Another friend dropped off lunch for her later in the day. We got news of successful surgery for my son and their brother. It was not the Christmas we planned and hoped for, but our son was safe, and only two of us remained positive with Covid. There was much to be grateful for!
Santa left a note that he was sorry about Covid and appendicitis. He offered to come back another day when everyone was healthy! Fortunately for us, Santa did make a return trip on Sunday, Dec 26, and we celebrated Christmas on Monday. My older daughter and I were on FaceTime while my spouse and other 2 children were in the family room. It was not perfect, but I am grateful that everyone was in the same house, healthy (relatively speaking), and happy.
As Greg McKeown says in his book, Effortless, “If you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack. And if you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have.”
At no point during this turmoil did I focus on what we were missing or losing. Luckily for me, my spouse has always been the positive presence in our relationship, and that rang true again this week. I am glad that I could match her optimism due to the daily habit of practicing gratitude. I would not have handled this nearly as well as I did if it were not for my gratitude journal. It has dramatically changed the way I approach challenges and opportunities in my life. Many people in the world had a more challenging Christmas week than we did. Ours was not perfect, but it was together. We may have lost the “timing” of the holidays (and an appendix), but not much else. We will see extended family again. There will be more holidays with plans that go awry. I will remain grateful for this experience and the next. I will continue to focus on what we have in our family, and gratitude will help us to persevere.
